Two Moons

Two Moons fill the sky

I’m hugging my late husband

Only in my dreams

After Stroke

Riding my bike on

The most beautiful spring day

In my nighttime dream

Dream of Dylan

Last night I dreamed of Bob Dylan. Not the first time in my life I have dreamed of him. Always a surprise when I do though.

It is never a romantic dream…just a conversation but I do not remember what we talked about. This time we were traveling and talking.

My only thought for dreams of him is I believe I would have been a lyricist had I had musical training.

Then the first thing I saw when I opened my phone this morning was a YouTube post of Dylan’s song -You’re a Big Girl Now. Wow… dream then first thing I see on my phone.

So many of his lyrics are also poetry. Trying to find a reason I would dream of him. Why now in particular? What is the connection for me? No answers…only questions.

Kentucky Derby

My heart breaks watching these sentient horses who had no choice in being used this way.

Confined, made to entertain.

My heart breaks for me too. Confined by my own body.

The state of our world today breaks my heart. Can’t watch TV any more.

Years ago I went to the Kentucky Derby, partied, experienced the traditions. I have changed so much as I’ve aged. I’ve gotten too sensitive. My heart is broken and hurting…for me and our world.

Here Too

Since I rarely leave my nursing home room, I don’t have much to write about and no pictures. I am working on learning to control my ever present anxiety. My thoughts today:

Reminding myself

God is in nature, for sure

But God is also in the room with me

Where I am, God is

I am in God and a spark of God is in me

Even in this room

Anxiety

Uncomfortable

Up and down, up again, down

Nursing home bed blues

Sunrise

Sunrise looks like a fire in the woods. Photo taken in my backyard a few years ago.

My Angel

She arrived at the nursing home early and decided to walk the halls to be sure everyone was breathing. She noticed my call light which had been on an hour with no one responding.

You see…the previous nurse had not flushed my midline and had not capped it. She not only left my room…I thought she was coming back with a flush and cap…she left the building. I was so afraid of bleeding because a few nights before my midline IV had bled for the same reason…no flushing and no capping… bled all over me and my bed. Scary stuff because I take blood thinners.

But here was this woman who walked into my room and asked what I needed. I told her. She looked and I was bleeding already although I could not see it yet because it was under my body. She looked me straight in the eyes and said, ” God brought us together today.” She was a nurse, not a CNA, so she could help me. It could have been a couple of hours before an assigned nurse came to my room.

Yes, I think she was right. God brought us together that morning. I consider her an angel. I don’t usually get an angel but that morning…I did.

Stealing Butter

In Pointe Vedra

Breakfasting alfresco

Small black birds visit our table to steal butter.

Delighted to share for the up-close contact with them.

A favorite memory

Encounters

Owl hoots who all night.

Song birds wake me.

In my dreams, Ravens flap their wings in my face. I see their shiny blackness, feel the breeze they make, and hear the sound of their flapping.

I ask for a message.

They fail to reply.