Escape

Sunday Whirl 101Escape

Disguised and forgotten

his mind stirred back to yesterday

and the wound hurt.

He knew to hurry across

the sand to the tree

where he could hide

and rest in his own country.

She said she would

leave a jar on the steps

as an all-clear.

Written for The Sunday Whirl.  The words are disguised, forgotten, country, hurry, tree, wound, mind, sand, stirred, jar, across, yesterday.

Advertisements

About Sabra Bowers

Poet / Blogger / Writer
This entry was posted in Poetry, Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to Escape

  1. margo roby says:

    It’s funny where words take us. I had an immediate view of a movie set in Spain or Mexico. I reread to see why that image. It’s something in the action of the man and his thoughts of what ‘she’ would do plus the word ‘jar’. The brain is an odd duck.

  2. Jae Rose says:

    I like the idea of a tree being your own country..a safe place..i am too old to climb real trees but have many metaphorical tree shelters..great depth to this poem..and that jar..i hope it makes it to the steps..

  3. julespaige says:

    I can see this as a story in any past war time and even in the present. So many questions for us to ponder as to their relationship and if there was any side at all. Could be a story of the old south concerning the underground railroad. I remember reading that there were many different types of clues to let those seeking shelter know that they had found a safe haven.

    Thanks for your visit. And confidence in my abilities. I do tend to make what ever is tossed my way work. But sometimes it just seems easier. 🙂

    • julespaige says:

      I think I got my remarks mixed up…in that last paragraph but I do appreciate your visits.

    • Sabra Bowers says:

      Thank for your visit and comments, Jules. Yes, I too felt I had the beginning of a short, short story. I may revisit sometime in the future and see if a story calls to me. Yes, sometimes it is easier than other times…for all of us. 🙂

  4. Marianne says:

    I see the tree growing at the border between his country and that of the enemy. As for the woman who left the jar, perhaps she will become his lover. Please do make this into a short story! So many possibilities here!

    • Sabra Bowers says:

      Thank you, Marianne. I also saw the tree growing at the border. Yes, I do think it could be an interesting short story. I’ll let you know if I develop it. Thanks for visiting and leaving me a comment.

  5. Paige says:

    luv. reads like an intro. of a novel.

  6. Irene says:

    The ending is sweet.

  7. 1sojournal says:

    I understood and related to the idea of the tree as ‘owned’ country. They have ever been a source of shelter and comfort for me. Really like the tale you wove from these words,

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/

    • Sabra Bowers says:

      Thank you, Elizabeth. I do think of it as the beginning of a tale. Oh, I agree about trees. I’ve actually had a few mystical experiences with them. Thanks for leaving me a comment.

  8. Veronica Roth says:

    Ooo, makes me think of a film noir! Except now I want more Sabra. Really liked the uneasy tension you wrote into the whirl. 🙂

  9. oldegg says:

    You cannot fire arrows of love without the risk of being wounded yourself…its a risk we all take.

  10. anl4 says:

    I like they way you used the jar, as a signal. I enjoyed reading your piece.

  11. Pamela says:

    A very vivid scene, Sabra. I could this becoming a short story. Well wordled.

    Pamela

  12. Cathy says:

    This is wonderful because you can read this in so many ways. Is it wartime lover or is it kid hiding in a tree because Mom is very angry at him.

  13. claudia says:

    i love the idea with the jar on the steps..

    • Sabra Bowers says:

      Thank you, Claudia. I’ve turned it into a flash fiction story at this point and will see if it wants to be a short story. Thanks you so much for reading and leaving me a comment. You are a super poet.

  14. Poet Laundry says:

    There is a sense of mystery to this, and yet an age-old understanding, something we all can relate to.

  15. Sabra Bowers says:

    Thank you for reading and leaving me a comment. I’ve started writing this piece as flash fiction and I’m letting the story develop as I write. It is a mystery to me, too. Very glad you could relate to it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s